It's ok to be the "Other Woman" ?

Ladies since when has it become acceptable & a trend to allow yourself to be the other woman?  I always say if you’re not the only one then refuse to be the other one. Why allow yourself to be second? I was raised to do my best to be first in any & everything I do. I also don’t like to share so why would I share a man? Being the other woman has become way too popular amongst women. Most women who are the “other woman” view it as a rush or thrill. They’re turned on by it because of the old saying “people want what they can’t have” so it makes it more appealing. When you’re the other woman that means that you’re not the first. His first is the one he goes home to at the end of the day or next morning once he leaves your house. Think about it, once he leaves your bed, he’s going back to the bed he shares with his main woman or possibly another woman’s bed. He gives you some time & loving, then once he’s done he leaves & goes home. You’re then left alone while he’s with his wife & family or girlfriend. How is being in this type of situation acceptable? You’re cheating yourself out of being in a relationship with someone who is going to be with you & only you. Now some of you may say “Oh he tells me he’s in love with me & is going to leave her to be with me”, “He says he’s at his happiest when he’s with me” or  “Things are a little rough for him at home right now with his family so he wants to get things settled first before he leaves”. Its all BS excuses ladies. If the man is oh so in love with you & is at his happiest when he’s with you then he would be with just YOU! It’s just that simple. If the woman he has at home tolerates his mess & won’t leave him, then he’s not leaving her. Why would he? He gets to have his cake & eat it too. It’s all thanks to you because just like his woman at home deals with his promiscuous ways, so are you. You’re allowing yourself to be his second option & a man can only do what you ALLOW! Even if he was to leave his "main" woman for you, what makes you so sure he won't do to you what he did to her? It's called karma & it's no fun when it's knocking at your door. Always be a man’s ONE & ONLY. That’s the way it should be. Real & true love in a relationship is between two people, not three & up. Do better ladies, you deserve it.

Thanks Giving

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! As we all get ready to go eat & enjoy ourselves with our families & friends, I wanted to give you a quick food for thought. Somewhere right now at this very moment there is someone or a family who doesn’t have any food, a roof over their heads or even clothes on their backs. There are soldiers who are in war that can’t go home to their loved ones because they’re fighting for us & our freedom. There are people who are in the hospital battling a sickness. There are the elderly who are alone & feel forgotten because their family won’t take the time to go visit them. I say all this to say be thankful for the food you have to eat, the place you can go to called home, the clothes you have to wear, your health & strength & the family & friends who no matter how many disagreements & fights you all have had are there for you & love you no matter what. We need to learn to appreciate & be thankful for the people in our lives & the things we have not just today but everyday just in case it’s all gone tomorrow. We take for granted the simplest things that others who are less fortunate would cherish with all their heart. Remember to give as well because you could be the answer or have the answer to someone else’s pray. The word Thanksgiving says it all, give thanks & give. Enjoy today, be safe, be thankful & give!

You have Haters?

     Think about your life, what you’re doing with it & what goes on in it. Now tell me, do you have anything worth hating on for you to be able to say you have haters?  The word hater is used so frequently these days that I think people have either forgotten or never knew the real definition of a hater.  My definition of a hater is someone who lacks a purpose & vision for their own life. When you’re doing what’s necessary for you to make something of yourself & making moves to make your dreams your reality, there’s always going to be someone who’s hating on that. They’re hating because they didn’t or don’t have the courage, strength nor faith to go after what they want out of life. Haters are also fans because in order for them to commentate on you & what you’re doing they have to follow & observe you, instead of using that time to better themselves. People who have haters don’t feel the need to say they have haters because they are too busy & focused on fulfilling their own purpose & destiny. There’s no need to acknowledge the unimportant hence that’s why they’re not important. Giving shout outs to your haters is giving them recognition & lets them know that they’re on your mind. This in turn can make you look foolish if one you don’t even have haters & two who gives spotlight to haters/the unimportant. Now when saying you have a hater or haters, please make sure that you actual have something worth hating on.  I find it extremely amusing when someone says “Oh she’s hating on me because I have a man & she doesn’t”. Really?  She’s hating on you because you have a man who treats you bad & talks to you like you’re one of his boys or child? I don’t see why someone would hate on that. Granted there are people who do hate on others relationships because they don't have one of their own or don't have the type of relationship someone else has but be 100% sure that your relationship is a great one with a strong foundation , love & respect before you make a claim that someone is hating. You don’t have haters if you are not doing anything with your life. You don’t have haters if you’re not trying to fulfill your purpose in life & let your talents & gifts lye dormant. You don’t have haters if you represent the “hood life” or “thug life”. You don’t have haters if you’re pregnant by a deadbeat & neither one of you are working to support your child. You don’t have haters if you’re a very pretty girl but you let any man who says hi to you & shows interest in you get sex from you. You don’t have haters if you’re in a relationship where there isn’t real love & is an unhealthy one. You don’t have haters if your life is filled with nothing but drama & confusion. You don’t have haters if you hate your own life.  Think first & reevaluate yourself & your life before you go & embarrass yourself by stating you have haters when in all actuality you have ABSOULETLY NOTHING worth hating on.

Real or Fake ?

       Countless times I see on Facebook & Twitter somebody talking about somebody being fake in their subliminal post & tweets. It got me thinking. What makes a person so real that they can call someone fake? Just because you say a person is fake, doesn’t make you real. You’re just pointing out what you feel is a lie about that person or lies that that person is telling. My opinion on the matter is a person who is real is the one who keeps it a 100 24/7. They don’t sugar coat anything for anybody & call it like they see it. They’re also able to be true to themselves & recognize their own faults. A person who’s fake is obviously the opposite of a person who keeps it real. A fake person is someone who will lie, will be all friendly & full of smiles in your face but then talk about you behind your back, say they’re loyal to you but then stab you in the back. When someone is acting fake towards you, you don’t continue to be around them. Don’t call someone fake & then chill with them next week like everything is fine because that makes you fake as well. I know people who have personally said things about me behind my back & then turn around & are all smiles & laughs in my face. Am I fake for not calling them out on their BS? I’m not a confrontational person so I view it as avoiding drama. At the same time though I don’t indulge company with these people. You won’t see me out & about with them, that would be dumb on my part. It’s called common sense. When you’re someone who keeps it real, you don’t have to tell people. People will notice for themselves. It’s a natural thing. Now again these are just my thoughts on the matter. Just as real recognizes real, fake can recognize fake. Make sure you’re 100 percent real & true, before you start blasting who’s not.

I'm Doing Me

    Since I can remember I have always loved to write; whether it was poems, short stories or essays for school. I have always enjoyed putting words together & letting them tell how I feel or given my views on a situation.  My ultimate goal is to have my very own magazine. Everybody has to start somewhere so I decided to start with a weekly blog to get out what I wanted to say & for it to reach people. Now this blog will not be a Perez Hilton or Global Grind type blog. I will not be writing about the latest gossip on celebrities nor what’s happening in the entertainment industry. This blog is my view & opinion on life & the experiences it brings. What inspires me to write are things I see & people I’m around everyday. It could be a conversation with a friend or seeing a wild animal show compassion towards a human. The simplest & smallest of things trigger tons of thoughts in my mind. The pure excitement & happiness I feel when I’m writing & the sense of accomplishment I feel after I post a new blog only confirms what I already knew. I was meant to be a writer. Writing is only part of my purpose & what I am destined for.  I think we would have a lot more happier people in this world if they knew what it is they wanted to do & were going after it. One of my favorite movies of all time is The Jackson Family American Dream. I love that movie because it shows how Joe Jackson had a vision for his family & how he saw his kids had the potential & talent to make that vision a reality. They worked hard, made the vision he had come true & became the most famous & successful musical family in history. I have a great vision for my life & it will become my reality. I also have this thing called Faith that is unbreakable. I can take the first step without having to see the whole stair case because my faith lets me know everything will be fine.  Some have asked what is the purpose of this blog & what do I get out of writing it? The answer is pure satisfaction because I‘m finally doing me & making moves towards my ultimate goal! No one has to believe in me nor my vision. I believe in me & my vision & that’s honestly all that matters. Watch me move!

See it. Believe it. Do it.

     So many times life throws things at us that make us lose sight of our dreams & aspirations & we put them on the back burner so to speak. We have time consuming jobs, families to take care of, financial worries etc etc etc.  But when you know you are meant for more in life & want more out of life why wouldn’t you go for it? When you know you’re destined for greatness it’s impossible to settle for anything less. No matter what’s going on in your life there should be that inside kick of determination & drive to propel you to get what you want & become what you were meant to be. We all want to be successful but you have to put in the work to get there, no one is going to hand you anything. Your vision for your life is your guide. You have to See where it is you want to go & what you what to become, Believe that you can achieve it & Do what is necessary to get it. Remember not to tell everyone your business because everyone isn’t going to be happy for you, even the ones who say they are. When people see you doing your thing & striving for success, they are going to come at you with their negativity. Their goal will be to try to make you doubt yourself & tell you that the impossible isn’t possible. You can’t let their words effect you.  When you think you can do something that’s when you should know you can, fail to doubt. Don’t let your talents go to waste & your gifts lye dormant because of your doubts & fears.  You speak those things that you want in life into existence & believe & have faith that they shall come to past. No one has to see, believe nor understand your dreams & vision but make it your reality so they all will bear witness to your destiny. Fulfill your destiny so that it'll be a testimony on how you made it & inspire someone else on how to make it.  We are given life to live it. Are you truly living yours?  

Scared of Lonely?

    Everybody goes through problems in their relationship. No one’s relationship is ever perfect. That’s just life. But an extreme pet peeve of mine is when people are in relationships that are unhealthy & they know they shouldn’t be in but stay in anyway. We all know someone who is in a relationship right now that isn’t benefiting them in anyway. The question I always ask is why do you stay?  The only thing I can think of as a reason is that they’re scared to be alone. Putting yourself in a relationship that is not giving you any type of growth or even true love is just beyond stupidity. Being in unhealthy relationships only show what you think of yourself. It’s a mindset. Maybe you have insecurities that you don’t know how to overcome. You don’t feel pretty enough, you aren’t a model size, or people have always talked down to you & say negative things to you so you believe it. Maybe it’s a cycle that runs in your family. Your grandmother, mother, sister or aunt have all been in unhealthy relationships that you have witnessed & because they never got out of them, it made you think it was ok. WRONG! Why dumb down yourself just to fit in with your partner? No one can give you substance nor serve a purpose in your life if they don’t have substance & a purpose in theirs. I know people who were once doing good for themselves when they were single that are now not doing anything at all because of who they’re attached to. I’m not blaming the person they’re with, I’m blaming them. I’m blaming them for not having the common sense to realize that their relationship is not a good nor productive one. When you’re doing great for yourself & then you meet someone & you’re not doing as great as you were before you met them that should be your wakeup call. If your life isn’t increasing but rather decreasing than that’s when you should know to give them the deuces. Detach yourself from the things that are hindering you.  I’ll be damned if I’m going to be with someone who I allow to stump my personal growth & block my blessings. I’m not that hard up to be with just anybody so I can say I have somebody. Women as well as men need to learn how to treat potential partners as a job application. Meaning if they don’t meet the requirements then they can’t get the job. It should be that simple. Know your value. Know your worth.  Be in relationships that are positive, productive, healthy, balanced, build a strong foundation & have growth for you as a couple as well as separately. Always remember you deserve nothing but the best & never settle for anything or anyone less than that. Don’t be with just anybody because you’re scared of lonely.

Irreplacable?

      A few weeks ago I watched the movie The Notebook for the first time. Yes I know it came out six years ago but I finally decided that I wanted to see what was so special about it six years later. What can I say; I’m always late on things. Anyway, after watching the movie it instantly became one of my all time favorites. To give you the cliff notes version of the film, young couple named Noah & Allie fall in love, gets torn apart because Allie has to move, goes years without seeing each other, finally reconnects & gets back together permanently. Now while they were apart, Noah had other women he hooked up with that resembled Allie but he never gave himself to them whole heartedly because they weren’t her. He was simple passing time. Same for Allie, she got engaged to another man but once she saw a photo of Noah in the newspaper she realized that her heart was still with him as well & went to where he was. With that being said, my question is is it wrong to believe that a woman can actual be irreplaceable to a man or vice versa? I mean sure Beyonce’s song Irreplaceable says don’t you ever think for a second that you’re irreplaceable but what if you really are? We all possessive something special & unique, that’s what makes us different.  When it comes to love & being truly & deeply in love, shouldn’t your significant other be irreplaceable? Don’t we all want that one person that makes us feel that way & means it? I personally want to have that one man who’s the right man for me feel like I’m irreplaceable & I want to feel that way about him as well.  No matter how many boyfriends or girlfriends we each have had, it lead us to be better suited for each other because when you think about it, we want that one person that was specifically made for us & no one else. This obviously would make our significant other irreplaceable. I sincerely believe that there is that one person out there that was specifically made for each of us. Noah said a line that struck me deep. He said that Allie was his home. Meaning that everything he needs & wants is wherever she is. I just thought that was so profound.  Now a days most men look for a woman who is their right now instead of forever. Same can be said for women.  With the kind of times we are living in now, are their men & women out their looking for that one person to call their home, to be their irreplaceable? I truly believe in my heart there is. It’s just a matter of taking the chance no matter how many times love has screwed you over & having the faith & patience to find out.