Am I my "sister's keeper?

    Here’s an unspoken truth: Most men respect & are most loyal to their “brotherhood” than women are to their “sisterhood”. A female would betray her friend first before a man would betray his boy. A female would hate on, be jealous, talk about & envy her friend before a man would do any of this to his boy. I find it so sad yet fascinating in a weird way that women act this way towards one another today. Where does this mentality come from to instantly not like another woman because of how she looked at you or because she rubbed you the wrong way the first time you met her? Are women born this way? 

    “Sisterhood” seems to be a dying breed in this world today even amongst women who are blood sisters. It seems that most women just are not strong enough nor have enough security & self confidence in themselves to be able to uplift another woman. Most women don’t appear to be able to congratulate or give a compliment to another woman without a sarcastic remark or funny look. Why as women does it seem so hard to be sincerely happy for another woman? Why do we hate on each other so much & why is this a PHENOMENALLY big trend? Men are such better friends to each other than us women. Men will be there for their “brother”. Men will not gossip about, & judge their “brother” no way near as much as women do. Men are rarely in competition with each other as oppose to us women who try to compete with one another on a regular basis. Most men won’t care about what another man is capable of or is doing while women will be oh so concerned about another female & her actions.

    True friendships amongst women are rare to find. The ones who are there for you no matter what, support you in everything you do & are 100% loyal & true at all times. The saying goes “keep your friends close & your enemies even closer”. I think that should be reversed. You should keep your enemies close & your friends even closer because your friends are your blind spot. They can backstab you & betray you before you even see it coming. Women need to unite & empower one another, not tear down & try to destroy each other. We as women were made strong. Our bodies can give life & endure the tremendous pain that comes with the process of doing so. We can love & take care of our families all on our own. When we are in love, there's nothing we wouldn't do for our significant other. We are fighters & survivors! We all have a fire inside us that allows us to keep going despite what it looks like & the adversities we may face. We have “women’s intuition” which is considered our sixth sense that is a feeling we get or inner voice we use as guidance to know if something’s about to happen, something’s wrong or doesn’t feel right without a reason & before it even occurs.

    We are all unique & shouldn’t hate on one another just because one has certain qualities or looks better than the other. If you have been through something that you made it out of & you see another woman going through the same thing, tell her how you got over. Motivate & encourage her to keep going. Don’t talk about, laugh at & judge her. Help her! What she is going through today could be your own situation tomorrow. You have to be careful when you put your mouth on people. To be blunt, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH OF THE “CATTY” BULLSHIT! We will never fully grow as a people if we continuously knock each other down. That goes for all genders & races. Now I know some women might not like what I’m saying nor agree because they're probably one of the females that do the things I'm talking about but this is just my opinion on the matter.

    We women are divine creatures. Men would not last very long on this earth without us. James Brown said it best, “it’s a man’s world but it wouldn’t be nothing without a woman or a girl”. Let’s STEP IT UP, GROW UP & be our BEST to ourselves as well as EACH OTHER!

It's bad to have a "list" of what you want in a man?

     Last Sunday, I watched this show called What Chili Wants. It’s about Chili from the hit girl group TLC & her quest to find a man that can meet the requirements on her list of what she wants in her potential future husband. A few things off her list are he has to be good looking, physically fit, great “package”, loves & believes in God & can’t eat pork. Some people don’t see anything wrong with her list, while others say it’s too much & she’s looking for perfection. The question I pose is is it bad to have a "list" of what you want in a man?
      I have male friends who have specific preferences when it comes to women.  One only dates white women because he feels they’re not ghetto & they're drama free as oppose to us black women (whatever). Another one likes women in all flavors but she has to be a dime meaning body of a model. No chubbies allowed. The other one wants his woman to be educated, beautiful, doesn’t talk too much, cooks & cleans, is independent & has no kids. Now this is just the short version of what they want in a woman & they do not deal with any woman that doesn’t meet their criteria. Men have always had their list so why we women can’t have ours?  It seems when we start having a list of our own, we’re viewed as wanting too much or being high maintenance. 
    Most men never settle for just any woman that they plan to be in a real relationship with. Sure they will have their flings, side chicks & girlfriends but the one they marry is the one that they’re definitely sure about. You can’t make a man do anything he doesn’t want to which is why they are never in a rush to settle down. Men have their process & we as women need to have one as well. We are always the ones quick to settle & compromise to fit & adapt to a man’s ways.
     I always say women should treat a potential significant other like a job application, meaning if he can’t meet the requirements to fulfill the job then he can’t get it. Think about it, when you fill out a job application that job is looking for specific skills you possess that will help their company grow & be successful. They will not offer you the job if they feel you will not be an asset to the company. What’s wrong with having that same mentality when looking for a partner or in life period? When you know your worth & what you can bring to the table, you want someone who can match that or better. I have a list as well. Some of my wants off it are I want a man who is intelligent, funny, loves God & is God fearing, independent, hard working, has dreams, goals & a vision for his life that he works towards making his reality, respectful & intellectual.  My grandfather was an amazing man. He was everything on my list & more! If my future husband can have the qualities that my grandfather had then I will be all set. I don’t feel that my list is too extreme. I think it's realistic because somewhere there is that man for me.  I’m a wonderful woman & I know my worth. The man who will have me will be a blessed one. That’s not being conceited. That’s the truth. We all know somebody or a few people that should have had a "list" to go by before going into the relationship they're in now that they shouldn't be in. I say let "your list" be your guide.

New Year! New You?

We are six days into the New Year. 2K11 is here!  As usual when a New Year is upon us everyone makes New Year resolutions.  The most common ones are “I’m going to lose weight”, “I’m going to go back to school”, “I’m going to focus more of my time on me”, “I’m going to do all the things people said I couldn’t”, etc etc etc etc ! But probably the most popular of them all hands down is “I’m going to be a new me in the New Year”. The problem I have with people making New Year resolutions is that 90% of them don’t follow through with it.  They’re just blowing hot air & saying what sounds good. Actions speak louder than words so I don’t say much.  I always like to keep it simple. I thank God for bringing me through another year, my health & strength & thankful for my family & friends. When the New Year is on the horizon we all view it as a new beginning, a fresh start. But when you think about it, we get that opportunity everyday we’re able to open our eyes. For every new day is a new start, I never make resolutions. All I want is to continue to grow, become the best me possible day by day & for God to continue to guide my footsteps & direct my path. When you are a “new you” that means the “old you” has died & it’s impossible to go back to something once it’s dead. Think about, when a loved one dies you’re not able to go see them & talk them again. When you graduate high school or college, you can’t go back & do it all over again. When you break your phone & it will no longer turn on, you have to go & buy a new one. In declaring a “new you” there should no longer be old habits & ways occurring. You shouldn’t have the same mentality that you had last year. You shouldn’t dwell on the same problems & drama you had last year or previous years.  You shouldn’t be continuously wasting time & your life because neither is promised. Don’t allow your PAST to overtake your NOW! With a “new you” should bring a new outlook. YOU CAN’T GROW INTO YOUR FURTURE IF YOU’RE STILL STUMPED IN YOUR PAST.   It’s called MOVING FORWARD & LETTING GO! Now in the process of becoming a “new you”/ better you, you may lose some friends along the way. You won’t be as tight & cool with people as you once was. This is expected. Not everybody is going to be ready to change nor like change. Some are going to see nothing wrong with the way things are now. They may even look at you funny & talk about you because you switching up. Let them. You can’t concern, worry yourself nor try to convince them to do better. Don’t hold yourself back by trying to hold up someone else that isn’t willing to do it for themselves. Carry what you have to! Let go of what you don’t. Your time is NOW! Think on this, Yesterday is in your rear view mirror, Today is in your front & Tomorrow is your blind spot that’s why it isn’t promised. Go do you! The NEW YOU!