Last Sunday, I watched this show called What Chili Wants. It’s about Chili from the hit girl group TLC & her quest to find a man that can meet the requirements on her list of what she wants in her potential future husband. A few things off her list are he has to be good looking, physically fit, great “package”, loves & believes in God & can’t eat pork. Some people don’t see anything wrong with her list, while others say it’s too much & she’s looking for perfection. The question I pose is is it bad to have a "list" of what you want in a man?
I have male friends who have specific preferences when it comes to women. One only dates white women because he feels they’re not ghetto & they're drama free as oppose to us black women (whatever). Another one likes women in all flavors but she has to be a dime meaning body of a model. No chubbies allowed. The other one wants his woman to be educated, beautiful, doesn’t talk too much, cooks & cleans, is independent & has no kids. Now this is just the short version of what they want in a woman & they do not deal with any woman that doesn’t meet their criteria. Men have always had their list so why we women can’t have ours? It seems when we start having a list of our own, we’re viewed as wanting too much or being high maintenance.
Most men never settle for just any woman that they plan to be in a real relationship with. Sure they will have their flings, side chicks & girlfriends but the one they marry is the one that they’re definitely sure about. You can’t make a man do anything he doesn’t want to which is why they are never in a rush to settle down. Men have their process & we as women need to have one as well. We are always the ones quick to settle & compromise to fit & adapt to a man’s ways.
I always say women should treat a potential significant other like a job application, meaning if he can’t meet the requirements to fulfill the job then he can’t get it. Think about it, when you fill out a job application that job is looking for specific skills you possess that will help their company grow & be successful. They will not offer you the job if they feel you will not be an asset to the company. What’s wrong with having that same mentality when looking for a partner or in life period? When you know your worth & what you can bring to the table, you want someone who can match that or better. I have a list as well. Some of my wants off it are I want a man who is intelligent, funny, loves God & is God fearing, independent, hard working, has dreams, goals & a vision for his life that he works towards making his reality, respectful & intellectual. My grandfather was an amazing man. He was everything on my list & more! If my future husband can have the qualities that my grandfather had then I will be all set. I don’t feel that my list is too extreme. I think it's realistic because somewhere there is that man for me. I’m a wonderful woman & I know my worth. The man who will have me will be a blessed one. That’s not being conceited. That’s the truth. We all know somebody or a few people that should have had a "list" to go by before going into the relationship they're in now that they shouldn't be in. I say let "your list" be your guide.
I have male friends who have specific preferences when it comes to women. One only dates white women because he feels they’re not ghetto & they're drama free as oppose to us black women (whatever). Another one likes women in all flavors but she has to be a dime meaning body of a model. No chubbies allowed. The other one wants his woman to be educated, beautiful, doesn’t talk too much, cooks & cleans, is independent & has no kids. Now this is just the short version of what they want in a woman & they do not deal with any woman that doesn’t meet their criteria. Men have always had their list so why we women can’t have ours? It seems when we start having a list of our own, we’re viewed as wanting too much or being high maintenance.
Most men never settle for just any woman that they plan to be in a real relationship with. Sure they will have their flings, side chicks & girlfriends but the one they marry is the one that they’re definitely sure about. You can’t make a man do anything he doesn’t want to which is why they are never in a rush to settle down. Men have their process & we as women need to have one as well. We are always the ones quick to settle & compromise to fit & adapt to a man’s ways.
I always say women should treat a potential significant other like a job application, meaning if he can’t meet the requirements to fulfill the job then he can’t get it. Think about it, when you fill out a job application that job is looking for specific skills you possess that will help their company grow & be successful. They will not offer you the job if they feel you will not be an asset to the company. What’s wrong with having that same mentality when looking for a partner or in life period? When you know your worth & what you can bring to the table, you want someone who can match that or better. I have a list as well. Some of my wants off it are I want a man who is intelligent, funny, loves God & is God fearing, independent, hard working, has dreams, goals & a vision for his life that he works towards making his reality, respectful & intellectual. My grandfather was an amazing man. He was everything on my list & more! If my future husband can have the qualities that my grandfather had then I will be all set. I don’t feel that my list is too extreme. I think it's realistic because somewhere there is that man for me. I’m a wonderful woman & I know my worth. The man who will have me will be a blessed one. That’s not being conceited. That’s the truth. We all know somebody or a few people that should have had a "list" to go by before going into the relationship they're in now that they shouldn't be in. I say let "your list" be your guide.
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